Monday 15th Dec, 2014
Beneath a glittering sky, Bethlehem sleeps. But in one dark corner a lone man bangs his desk with frustration. INNKEEPER: Bloody ERP system’s crashed! First we had all those people coming for the census. And now this: a pregnant woman and I can’t add a ‘stable’ option to the drop-down room menu. MAN: Hold down the function key and press ‘N’ for new. INNKEEPER: [Starts] Blimey, where did you spring from? Look: we just don’t have any more rooms.
Friday 11th Oct, 2013
SCENE: The drawing room in Downton Abbey. Shafts of autumnal sunlight reveal an overweight Labrador in one corner, and a flip chart in the other. The Earl of Grantham walks in examining his cuffs. THE EARL: Damn. I seem to have got yellow highlighter all over the place. Bates spent last night scrubbing my shirt, but it just won’t come out. He trips, having failed to notice the maid who is busy picking individual motes of dust out of the rug. THE EARL: I suppose I should be grateful it’s not pink.
Friday 19th Jul, 2013
[SCENE: Space. A couple of small stars are flickering in the distant darkness. Out of the blackness comes a vast metallic cube, closely resembling a car that’s been mechanically crushed, only bigger, much bigger. A small green dot flashes from one corner. Suddenly a brilliant yellow searchlight is switched on, illuminating a small space ship.] DISEMBODIED VOICE: We are the Fourg. We will assimilate you. [CUT TO BRIDGE OF THE SMALL SPACE SHIP. TWO GUINEA PIG-LIKE CREATURES, SEATED ON CHINTZ CUSHIONS, ARE STARING AT THEIR CONSOLES IN TERROR.]
Friday 13th Jul, 2012
Recently discovered documents shed new light on the poorly-understood management consulting industry of 18th century England. Pemberley, 1 July My dearest Jane Since you left to stay with our Aunt Gardiner in London, something has occurred of the most unexpected and serious nature. Mr Wickham, whom we had all supposed to be tolerably well settled with his regiment in the north, has resigned his commission and thrown himself into a new profession entirely.
Friday 1st Jun, 2012
There's always a danger, in writing reports about the consulting industry (or anything else, for that matter), that, in the time between the words being written and the report being published, something might happen which invalidates the arguments the report makes. It's why we use the phrase 'at the time of writing'.
Sunday 4th Mar, 2012
Talking to some MBA students last week I decided to spend some time challenging any preconceptions they might have about the consulting industry, particularly the sort that might lead them to believe that, five minutes after finishing their course, they’d be waltzing into a glittering career of unfettered riches as a high-brow, blue-sky-thinking McKinsey consultant.
Tuesday 10th Jan, 2012
The news that American TV company Showtime is launching a new comedy series about management consultants, subtly entitled House of Lies makes for a depressing start to the year for anyone working in the consulting industry. But it’s also a timely reminder that any attempts to improve the image of management consultants in the media (clients’ views and would-be recruits into the industry are different) will need to engage people’s hearts as well as their minds.
Friday 22nd Jul, 2011
I recently spent a week in the woods on a fundamental bush craft course, run by Ray Mears (him off the telly). It was a tough week in which we had to learn the various arts of fire-making, shelter building and rabbit-skinning as well as generally getting used to what life would feel like if we were deprived of things we now consider pivotal to our existence. Electricity. Running water. iPhone 4.
Thursday 2nd Jun, 2011
Regular readers of this blog will know that from time to time we like to entertain ourselves by finding parallels with the consulting industry in far-flung, unexpected places. Last week’s musings on which consulting firm resembles which make of car generated considerable interest (and there’s still time to fill in our two-minute survey telling us what you think). This week it’s Harry Potter.
Wednesday 9th Mar, 2011
Carrying out some research recently, I suddenly realised that each of the Big Four firms have now taken ‘ownership’ (in that special marketers meaning of the word) of one of the major colours. Was this deliberate? Suddenly I’ve got a picture in my mind of the Chief Marketing Officers from each firm sitting round a table, each with a large cuban in one hand and a balloon of Louis Treize in the other. They're eyeing each other nervously. Blue (KPMG) and yellow (Ernst & Young) have already been agreed; red and green remain in play.
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