Are consultants really getting shorter?

Without further ado I escalated the matter to the report’s author, Fiona Czerniawska, who was between meetings in Paris. Several minutes later, having caused considerable alarm to some well-healed Parisian shoppers in a refined patisserie near Galeries Lafayette, our uncharacteristically errant author finally regained her composure and suggested we issued a statement without further ado. So here we go:

Contrary to claims in our recent report into HR Consulting (December 2009), Source would like to point out that it has seen no evidence at all that consulting teams are getting shorter, or even that they are employing any measures, such as flattening their hair or wearing especially thinly-soled shoes, to make them appear shorter. However, in light of the fact that we have not yet been contacted by any other readers of the report about the error, we believe there may be sufficient lack of surprise at the statement to merit us undertaking further research into the matter. Our research methodology will be as follows:

Firstly we intend to interview a wide range of clients to see whether current pressures on consultancy spend have led to them to use only short consultants on the basis of them taking up less office space, requiring less legroom (and therefore cheaper seats) on aircraft, and being likely to eat less in the client’s staff canteen.

Secondly, we intend to take a tape measure to all meetings with consulting firms over the course of the next few months in order carry out a surreptitious consultant-measuring campaign whenever the opportunity presents itself. Given that our team is predominantly female, and therefore statistically likely to be shorter than even a newly-shortened male consultant, all Source staff will be issued with 1970’s platform shoes, the better to ensure sufficient reach during measurement.

Our findings will, of course, be published on this website. For now, please accept our apologies for any confusion caused.